The Food Lottery
Today was a truly fabulous day. I am absolutely thrilled to announce…I won the Food Lottery!
In some ways (I think, anyway) winning the Food Lottery is just as good as winning the National Lottery or Euromillions. Admittedly the prize is not as valuable, but the initial excitement of discovering you have won is surely equivalent to that of seeing your numbers come up.
To win most lotteries, you have to have made the conscious decision to enter…and, let’s face it, as you hand over the £1, you always think ‘THIS is it: THIS is the winning ticket.’ You wouldn’t buy a ticket unless a part of you believed that you were about to become a millionaire.
But the Food Lottery is different. Every single one of us is entered into it every day; yet most people are oblivious to the glorious possibilities that may befall each time we take a bite to eat. I myself have been lucky in the past with the food fairies; yet I still forget the existence of the Food Lottery, so further triumphs take me as much by surprise as anybody.
I am talking, of course (!), about those random instances when food manufacturing goes wrong; resulting in a better product.
Perhaps the most naturally occurring ‘mistake’ is when you crack an egg and discover it is a double yolker. A brilliant thing to happen and I defy anyone to tell me they have gone on to cook that egg in an omelette or as scrambled egg. No, that egg is destined to be fried! Oh the immense pleasure of finding and eating a double yolker! I grew up with chickens pottering around the garden, and each time one laid a particularly large egg, it was the highest honour to be the one chosen to crack it open and see if we’d won the jackpot.
Other food lottery successes have included a solid chocolate Aero, a couple of solid chocolate KitKats, and a fair few solid chocolate Malteasers. Admittedly, if solid chocolate was what you’d wanted, you would’ve bought a Yorkie instead…but the surprise of more chocolate than you’d bargained for is a real cause for celebration. Particularly in the case of the Aero – I love them but I often feel cheated that I’m buying so much air.
If you want to increase your chances on the chocolate portion of the Food Lottery: buy Marks & Spencers biscuit selection boxes. The one pictured on the bottom right has been pure chocolate so often that I wonder whether the mistake is when it contains biscuit.
But today’s win on the Food Lottery has been the greatest ever. Following my success with feeding Sam spaghetti hoops a couple of weeks ago, I branched out into kiddiland and bought Asda ‘Happy Stars’ – which are the potato smileys I remember as a kid; except these are stars with smiley faces.
Or so the packaging suggests.
Much to my delight, on shaking a few onto the baking tray, I was met with quite an anomaly. It may be because I lead a fairly boring life, but I found this hilarious:
Thank you, bored factory worker; you really made my day!