The road to employment

I am really grateful to the wonderful author of Taking Candy From a Baby for giving me this Versatile Blogger award. I do wonder at her choice though: could it really be said that I am versatile in my writing? Thus far my blog has consisted of revealing some fairly disturbing truths about myself…with a few cute pics of Sam thrown in so as to avoid looking too narcissistic. I am so far failing on my own brief too: ‘Life with a toddler; the single mum’s perspective’. I don’t feel I’ve depicted life with a toddler very well, and have no wild single stories to tell. (Yet!)

I had some university friends to stay at the weekend and had such a good time – almost felt like the days when we lived together.

Friday night called for wine, chocolate orange segments and Love Actually (we were feeling festive and acted accordingly). I always decide to do something quite drastic to my appearance when under the influence of alcohol. Back at uni we went to numerous T-shirted pub crawls and it became a tradition to customise the T-shirts a few minutes before going out, always with wine, Pasoa or homemade skittles vodka to help release the creative juices. Of everyone, I was usually the most adventurous (/regrettably over-optimistic of my own artistic talent), and as result was put under strict supervision when handling scissors. Here is an example of what happened when I was left alone too long:

I can’t remember what the end result was, but luckily I have a very resourceful friend who would have tied it up somehow and prevented me from going out naked.

Anyway, Friday’s wine-encouraged appearance change involved letting the girls dye my hair. Well, forcing them to actually; both took some persuading. I was only trying to cover up the dark roots and brighten up my general hair colour, but due to the combined allure of Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant and Billy Campbell (the octopus); we left the dye on for too long; resulting in a wonderful ginger and white striped effect. I wish I’d taken a photo.

Much to my relief (or disappointment – I revel in the ridiculous), I woke up to see my hair had settled at a not-out-of-the-ordinary shade of light blonde. Humiliation averted.

On Saturday we went to my all-time favourite place – an ‘Under 10 Theme Park’ according to its website; though there were only three rides when I was little. It was brilliant, and I am glad to say that Sam loved it almost as much as the adults.

This blog no longer contains images of my son’s face. Click here to find out why.

I know I am again showing my immaturity, but the place holds as much magic for me now as it ever did. We were all a little disappointed, however, by the sullenness of some of the elves at the new Santa ride. Due, no doubt, to my faultless demonstration of the Cha Cha Slide while in the queue, the girls decided I should apply for a job as an elf.

And…I am now employed! Sadly not as an elf; even my previous elf experience did not sway me a place; Father Christmas is apparently fully staffed. But I DO have a job! I’ll be working in the café, which isn’t the type of work I’ve been spending every bloomin’ evening applying to…but when I told my brother I’d been accepted, he announced that (given the location) it is THE ULTIMATE JOB. And I agree…kind of. So I’m pretty happy. And maybe I can give one of the elves food poisoning and then swoop in with my superior Cha Cha Slide.

Disappointingly, DJ Casper did not feature on our big night out on Saturday, but it was quite an eventful night nonetheless and I’m looking forward to writing about it once my friend has e-mailed some photos.


  1. Woot! Congrats on getting both your latest award and THE ULTIMATE JOB!!! 🙂 I told you that you’re fantastic 😛 Anyway, it’s better to chop up your clothes and dye your hair than to dye your clothes and chop up your hair, particularly while intoxicated. {hugs!!}

    • If only I’d dyed Sam’s hair rather than chop his fringe the other evening – I’m sure a purple ‘do would look better than his current butchered style!
      Thanks for the congrats. The job only runs til Christmas but I’m hoping it might just about pay for my Christmas shopping.

  2. Funny story, congrads in your blogger award, you deserve it! Love the picture with Sam. Congrads on the job too, more perspectives for stories!! 🙂

    • Thank you 🙂 You left your sentence unfinished though: ‘more perspectives for stories in which you humiliate yourself’! It seems that’s all I write about. Will stop tagging posts as ‘parenting’ and go for straight ‘humiliation’ instead!! Bizarre that I am voluntarily offering up these stories. Not so much in this post though – thank goodness for no camera for the hair incident! Thanks for reading x

  3. You are fabulous in your writing…I say versatile is anyone who can use vagina and mommy in the same post without being inappropriate! Keep the good stuff coming!

    • Whaaat??! When have I mentioned my vagina??!?! Oh dear, this blog really is no-subject-barred!

  4. mommysaidaswearword

    If I only had documented my terrible hair experiences with friends throughout the years. And tshirt catastrophes. Mixed with vodka. 🙂

    • It is only a good thing that I regularly lose my camera when under the influence!

  5. What a great read! Well done on your job and keep up the Cha Cha slide-ing! X

  6. Thank you 🙂

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